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FUNNIES

RATING
Language and Idea.
Mine
How funny it is.



Oxymoronic statements

1. I have a fear of Phobias.
2. I stole it fare and square.
3. Are you telling me I'm inabservant.
4. A no smoking sign on your smoking break.
5. Only Idiots come to this class.
6. Answer "YES"if your a mute.
7. A man asking ARE YOU DEFF?
8. Everything you know is wrong.
9. My brother is an only child.
10. Instra Dry Just Add Water!
11. A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn. OOOOOWWWWWWW!!!
12. Cronic Sobriaty.
13. If at first you don't suceed, skydiving is not for you!
14. The 2 most common elements in the univers are Hydrogen and Stupidity.
15. She never told me she was a mime.
16. He that tells white lies grows progressivly color blind.
17. He that has a glass jaw shall not throw punches.
18. The've always tasted wrong.
19. I'm Infallible.
20. If you do no harm then you can do no right.
21. "Living Dead"
22. The greatest trick the Devil has ever acomplished is making the general public belive he dose not exsist.
23. I very, very proud of my Humility.
24. I was so tired last night I drempt I was sleeping!
25. A MAN saying only women are sexest.
26. Drinking draino light makes about as much sense as owing a 56.6 buad modem and only having 1 mb of ram.
27. If the right side of your brain controls the left side of your body then only lefthanded people are in right mind.
28. She was aware of her own unawarness.
29. He knew he was in shock.
30. I'm terrified beyond any rational thought.
31. Beeing able to speed on the highway.
32. I'm always at the airport when my ship comes in.
33. A substance that can eat through anything.
34. Do you have bad Dislexia?
35. Let me give you a nikels worth of free advice.
36. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
37. Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
38. Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
39. When it rains why don't sheep shrink.
40. If a turtle dosen't have a shell is it homless or naked?
41. If a Stealth Bomber crashes in the forest dose it make a sound?
42. If your cross eyed and have Dyslexia can you read just fine?
43. When companies ship styrofoam, what do they ship it in.
45. What is another word for Thesauras?
46. Why is the word abbreviation so long?
47. Why do you need a drivers license to buy beer when you can leagaly drink and drive?
48. Why do they lock gas station restrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?



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©1998