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FUNNIES
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How funny it is.
Sign Language
The following are actual signs seen across the good ol' U.S.A.
At gas eateries through the nation: Eat here and get gas.
In a New Hampshire jewelry store: Ears pierced while you wait.
On the wall of a Baltimore estate: Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. --Sisters of Mercy
On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners: 38 years on the same spot.
In a Los Angeles dance hall: Good clean dancing every night but Sunday.
In a Florida maternity ward: No children allowed.
On a New Hampshire medical building: Martin Diabetes Professional Ass.
In the offices of a loan company: Ask about our plans for owning your home.
In a New York medical building: Mental Health Prevention Center
In a toy department: Five Santa Clauses -- No waiting!
On a New York convalescent home: For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church.
On a Maine shop: Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship.
At a number of military bases: Restricted to unauthorized personnel.
On a display of "I love you only" valentine cards: Now available in multi-packs.
In the window of a Kentucky appliance store: Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work.
In a funeral parlor: Ask about our layaway plan.
In a clothing store: Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks.
In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store: 15 men's wool suits, $10. They won't last an hour!
On a shopping mall marquee: Archery Tournament -- Ears pierced
Outside a country shop: We buy junk and sell antiques.
On a Pennsylvania highway: Drive carefully. Auto accidents kill most people 15 to 19.
In downtown Boston: Calahan Tunnel -- No end
In the window of an Oregon store: Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?
In a Maine restaurant: Open 7 days a week and weekends.
In a New Jersey restaurant: Open 11 AM to 11 PM midnight.
In front of a New Hampshire restaurant: Now serving live lobsters.
On a radiator repair garage: Best place to take a leak.
On a movie marquee: Now playing: ADAM AND EVE with a cast of thousands!
In the vestry of a New England church: Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished.
In a Pennsylvania cemetery: Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.
On a roller coaster: Watch your head.
On the grounds of a public school: No tresspassing without permission.
On a Tennessee highway: When this sign is under water, this road is impassable.
This site created and programed by
Steven Duncan
.
©1998