Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyways.
If vegetable oil is made of vegetables, what is baby oil made of?
No guts, no glory no brain, same story.
Cocaine is gods way of telling you that you make too much money.
If quitters never win, and winners never cheat, then who is the fool
who said "Quit while you're ahead"?
If you don't die from it -- it is healthy.
If everything is going well, you don't know what the heck is Going
on.
One good turn gets most of the blankets.
It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
There are three kinds of people -- those who can count and those who can't.
It is not what a teenager knows that bothers his parents, it is how he found out.
My homework is like a juicy steak -- rarely done.
There are two kinds of pedestrians -- the quick and the dead.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
If at first you don't succeed -- give up! No use being a darn fool.
Falling in love is awfully simple. Falling out of love is simply
awful.
No job is so simple that is can't be done wrong.
You can only be young once, but you can be immature forever.
Only adults have difficulty with childproof bottles.
LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS MISTAKES - USE BIRTH CONTROL!
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